Hello everyone,

Wauw this was a week..... heavy week.
3 performences, 1 on tuesday in Amsterdam... Which was amazing! For me personally it was a weird show, because I was so aware I was being watched by people I know, but also people that are close to me, teachers, classmates etc. I was so nervous that I almost couldnt be in the moment.. I almost felt I was not in my body, but just floating somewhere.. hoping the show was going to be a good one.. :s
In the end I saw Alma and Helga, and they said it was great and that made me feel a bit better :) And after I met a few people from class... I enjoyed talking to them a lot.. I miss school sometimes..
On wednesday there was the show in Leeuwarden, which is 3 hours by car to get there... the sitting in this bus is kind of bad for the body.. a bit cramping.. Anyway the show went good and Conny decided to give us free on thursday, I think because she saw we were a bit tired.. :) I heard from the other dancers that this is a miracle and that conny never gives free days... So I was very happy with the free day!!!!
On friday we had a show in Rijswijk.

But now there is a week without performences coming up, just rehearsing for common ground.
I will write more later.

Common Ground

Good evening everyone,

We started the new piece with conny ' Common Ground', a location performence. She never made a piece in open air... Its exciting. She is gonna create a piece in the heart of rotterdam, an open, lost and deserted place, amongst unused traintracks and superhigh buildings.

Last wednesday we went to this place and its huge, and I felt so empty when I was there. You are so seen, you are so lonely, you are so left alone. You feel you are in a rough place, where everything is raw, real, and somehow (for me personally) a bit painfull.

The dance we will create is about people and their own strange world.

We will be with 10 dancers, 5 boys and 5 girls. Theyre two new girls and one new boy. And one girl (Francesca) of Vuil&Glas left. Which feels kind of strange. Because in the day we are working on a new piece, with different people, and in the evening we have this performence of another piece with other people.
It will be hard I think, because we have to be personal. Create own movement-phrases (which is for me somehow always a kind of blocking, annoying, an unable thing to do, I feel completely lost when I have to create...). I think Conny needs me to be more personal, more open. Especially in this coming piece. I think she wants me to bare my soul in my work.

Anyway, these days are hard days. Rehearsels of one new piece, while still performing Vuil&Glas often is a difficult combination for me. In scapino it was more easy, because I didnt had so much to do, so I could devide my attention more easy. With Conny Im really involved, which is beautiful but it also gives pressure I feel (or maybe thats just in my mind), and its more hard to switch from one piece to another.

The performences of Vuil&Glas are getting a bit better for me. I am more clear in what I do on stage, I begin to understand the movement, the combinations of the steps.. Yes, it sounds silly but in the beginning and especially in the first few performences I was just busy with remembering the steps and the corrections for steps. I felt so bad.

But as I said, I feel a bit better now :)

I think Im gonna do Yoga twice a week after rehearsel.. I think it will be good for me, good for my body. I need more center, more control in my body. I lack knowledge of my body and I think Yoga will help me to understand more of my body. How to be more in control, how to be more clear in dynamic.. mhhh interesting..

Will write more later!

x

oh by the way...
I forgot to tell about the ribs :)
in the end a osteopaat found out one of my ribs was not in place, and that there were a few tears in the muscles around the rib.. yes... soo..... but anyway he placed it back, cracked my whole body and now im feeling already a bit better. :) no ibuprofen no more!

After a few auditons and ' No' I start to believe Im a crap-dancer.. Maybe I better stop trying.