HELLO EVERYONE! its been so long ago, Im sorry!
Im doing very good, Im very busy working on the new piece of Conny Janssen Danst - ' Common Ground'.
I found out that I have performence on the graduation day, so I wont be there to celebrate our liberty :( ..........
I will write more later. M
zaterdag 12 juni 2010
maandag 5 april 2010
zondag 28 maart 2010
Hello everyone,
Wauw this was a week..... heavy week.
3 performences, 1 on tuesday in Amsterdam... Which was amazing! For me personally it was a weird show, because I was so aware I was being watched by people I know, but also people that are close to me, teachers, classmates etc. I was so nervous that I almost couldnt be in the moment.. I almost felt I was not in my body, but just floating somewhere.. hoping the show was going to be a good one.. :s
In the end I saw Alma and Helga, and they said it was great and that made me feel a bit better :) And after I met a few people from class... I enjoyed talking to them a lot.. I miss school sometimes..
On wednesday there was the show in Leeuwarden, which is 3 hours by car to get there... the sitting in this bus is kind of bad for the body.. a bit cramping.. Anyway the show went good and Conny decided to give us free on thursday, I think because she saw we were a bit tired.. :) I heard from the other dancers that this is a miracle and that conny never gives free days... So I was very happy with the free day!!!!
On friday we had a show in Rijswijk.
But now there is a week without performences coming up, just rehearsing for common ground.
I will write more later.
Wauw this was a week..... heavy week.
3 performences, 1 on tuesday in Amsterdam... Which was amazing! For me personally it was a weird show, because I was so aware I was being watched by people I know, but also people that are close to me, teachers, classmates etc. I was so nervous that I almost couldnt be in the moment.. I almost felt I was not in my body, but just floating somewhere.. hoping the show was going to be a good one.. :s
In the end I saw Alma and Helga, and they said it was great and that made me feel a bit better :) And after I met a few people from class... I enjoyed talking to them a lot.. I miss school sometimes..
On wednesday there was the show in Leeuwarden, which is 3 hours by car to get there... the sitting in this bus is kind of bad for the body.. a bit cramping.. Anyway the show went good and Conny decided to give us free on thursday, I think because she saw we were a bit tired.. :) I heard from the other dancers that this is a miracle and that conny never gives free days... So I was very happy with the free day!!!!
On friday we had a show in Rijswijk.
But now there is a week without performences coming up, just rehearsing for common ground.
I will write more later.
zaterdag 13 maart 2010
Common Ground
Good evening everyone,
We started the new piece with conny ' Common Ground', a location performence. She never made a piece in open air... Its exciting. She is gonna create a piece in the heart of rotterdam, an open, lost and deserted place, amongst unused traintracks and superhigh buildings.
Last wednesday we went to this place and its huge, and I felt so empty when I was there. You are so seen, you are so lonely, you are so left alone. You feel you are in a rough place, where everything is raw, real, and somehow (for me personally) a bit painfull.
The dance we will create is about people and their own strange world.
We will be with 10 dancers, 5 boys and 5 girls. Theyre two new girls and one new boy. And one girl (Francesca) of Vuil&Glas left. Which feels kind of strange. Because in the day we are working on a new piece, with different people, and in the evening we have this performence of another piece with other people.
It will be hard I think, because we have to be personal. Create own movement-phrases (which is for me somehow always a kind of blocking, annoying, an unable thing to do, I feel completely lost when I have to create...). I think Conny needs me to be more personal, more open. Especially in this coming piece. I think she wants me to bare my soul in my work.
It will be hard I think, because we have to be personal. Create own movement-phrases (which is for me somehow always a kind of blocking, annoying, an unable thing to do, I feel completely lost when I have to create...). I think Conny needs me to be more personal, more open. Especially in this coming piece. I think she wants me to bare my soul in my work.
Anyway, these days are hard days. Rehearsels of one new piece, while still performing Vuil&Glas often is a difficult combination for me. In scapino it was more easy, because I didnt had so much to do, so I could devide my attention more easy. With Conny Im really involved, which is beautiful but it also gives pressure I feel (or maybe thats just in my mind), and its more hard to switch from one piece to another.
The performences of Vuil&Glas are getting a bit better for me. I am more clear in what I do on stage, I begin to understand the movement, the combinations of the steps.. Yes, it sounds silly but in the beginning and especially in the first few performences I was just busy with remembering the steps and the corrections for steps. I felt so bad.
But as I said, I feel a bit better now :)
I think Im gonna do Yoga twice a week after rehearsel.. I think it will be good for me, good for my body. I need more center, more control in my body. I lack knowledge of my body and I think Yoga will help me to understand more of my body. How to be more in control, how to be more clear in dynamic.. mhhh interesting..
Will write more later!
x
zondag 7 maart 2010
oh by the way...
I forgot to tell about the ribs :)
in the end a osteopaat found out one of my ribs was not in place, and that there were a few tears in the muscles around the rib.. yes... soo..... but anyway he placed it back, cracked my whole body and now im feeling already a bit better. :) no ibuprofen no more!
I forgot to tell about the ribs :)
in the end a osteopaat found out one of my ribs was not in place, and that there were a few tears in the muscles around the rib.. yes... soo..... but anyway he placed it back, cracked my whole body and now im feeling already a bit better. :) no ibuprofen no more!
maandag 22 februari 2010
Hello everyone,
How y' all doing?
this last whole week we were in roosendaal for montage. it was so different to be on stage, in a theater. I felt naked, uncomfortable and the opposite of calm.... SUPER STRESSED>> on last thursday we had a try-out in roosendaal, there were not many people (this was nice to get used to public again)...
But then one of the girls Lola got out of a lift wrong and she really hurt her ankle. so she went to the hospital.. and we made a plan B, just in case she couldnt dance. in the end nothing was broken or something in that direction, but she couldnt dance. so we did the try-out with 3 girls and 4 men.
the try out in roosendaal was for me very bad. i felt so nervous that I was not in the moment, I was not grounded at all.. pfff.. the worst thing was that I forgot to do something on stage... I just ran off stage and I forgot to do a part with christiana..... horrible....... so unfocused....... ofcourse it was hard because we changed so much stuff right before the try out because of the injury of lola... but still......
than on friday we had a day off... which was really nice and relaxing... watching avatar in pathe rotterdam with my lover....
than saterday rehearsel in rotterdam schouwburg and that evening try-out. in the rehearsel I hurt myself so badly.... I had to go to hospital to check if maybe my ribs were broken. I did a lift with two guys and somehow it went to wrong in the air...
the doctors said it was not broken, but maybe very bruised. minimum two weeks of rest and take painkillers was their advice. thats a nice advice if youre a dancer with a try-out that evening and a premiere the day after...
I decided to take painkillers and to perform the try-out. because conny told me if I wouldnt perform the try-out, i also couldnt do the premiere... So i decided to do it.
10 minutes bfore the show there was a chiropractor to fix my back, because maybe he could fix my ribs and put back my back straight. after 10 minutes I ran to the dressing room, put on my costume and a bit of deodorant.. and ran to the stage... I didnt fix my hair, I didnt wear make up or anything....
the try-out went ok for me. I was on fire for my feeling, because there was so much adrealine and no nerves because I had to focus on my body to decrease the pain, and I took so many painkillers that I felt a bit high. I didnt care I had no make-up I just wanted to do the performence and the show to be over.. there were a lot of people, the whole schouwburg sold out for the try-out.
sundaymorning..... Ive never had so much pain in my life before.... with every breath it felt as if somebody put a knife between my ribs... But I had to do the show in the afternoon 16.30 premiere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so I took paracetamol again, I tried to eat something, somehow I was nervous as hell...... I wanted it to be over... I had so much pain. The pain was worse because the day before the chiropractor was really hard on me.. and the day after there is 'after-pain' on top of the normal pain because of the treatment..
anyway, the show started and it was so hard. I had to focus on my breathing, and that was horrible.. I couldnt breathe... when I inhaled it just couldnt go.... i couldnt breath in.... when the show was almost over; we were on stage to get applause I felt so dizzy... and when they run on stage again to get applause I couldnt... I collapsed... I couldnt breathe and started to hyperventilate and to panick.....
after a while I couldnt breathe again... but it was so painfull... after the show I didnt want to see anybody because the show felt really bad for me... I couldnt give all I had, even though I tried...
I just pickup up my parents and they took me home to my parents place.. my dad made an appointment with a friend a him, a manual therapiste.
this morning i went to her. she checked me and she found out I have a few tears in a few muscles in between my ribs... thats why its hurting like hell.. its one of the most painfull injuries, because its moving all the time... when youre inhaling exhaling etc etc... thats also a reason why it heals so slow... but she said Im young so maybe it will heal faster.. I hope so... would be nice to take a deep breathe....
anyway this is it for now, will write more later....
How y' all doing?
this last whole week we were in roosendaal for montage. it was so different to be on stage, in a theater. I felt naked, uncomfortable and the opposite of calm.... SUPER STRESSED>> on last thursday we had a try-out in roosendaal, there were not many people (this was nice to get used to public again)...
But then one of the girls Lola got out of a lift wrong and she really hurt her ankle. so she went to the hospital.. and we made a plan B, just in case she couldnt dance. in the end nothing was broken or something in that direction, but she couldnt dance. so we did the try-out with 3 girls and 4 men.
the try out in roosendaal was for me very bad. i felt so nervous that I was not in the moment, I was not grounded at all.. pfff.. the worst thing was that I forgot to do something on stage... I just ran off stage and I forgot to do a part with christiana..... horrible....... so unfocused....... ofcourse it was hard because we changed so much stuff right before the try out because of the injury of lola... but still......
than on friday we had a day off... which was really nice and relaxing... watching avatar in pathe rotterdam with my lover....
than saterday rehearsel in rotterdam schouwburg and that evening try-out. in the rehearsel I hurt myself so badly.... I had to go to hospital to check if maybe my ribs were broken. I did a lift with two guys and somehow it went to wrong in the air...
the doctors said it was not broken, but maybe very bruised. minimum two weeks of rest and take painkillers was their advice. thats a nice advice if youre a dancer with a try-out that evening and a premiere the day after...
I decided to take painkillers and to perform the try-out. because conny told me if I wouldnt perform the try-out, i also couldnt do the premiere... So i decided to do it.
10 minutes bfore the show there was a chiropractor to fix my back, because maybe he could fix my ribs and put back my back straight. after 10 minutes I ran to the dressing room, put on my costume and a bit of deodorant.. and ran to the stage... I didnt fix my hair, I didnt wear make up or anything....
the try-out went ok for me. I was on fire for my feeling, because there was so much adrealine and no nerves because I had to focus on my body to decrease the pain, and I took so many painkillers that I felt a bit high. I didnt care I had no make-up I just wanted to do the performence and the show to be over.. there were a lot of people, the whole schouwburg sold out for the try-out.
sundaymorning..... Ive never had so much pain in my life before.... with every breath it felt as if somebody put a knife between my ribs... But I had to do the show in the afternoon 16.30 premiere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so I took paracetamol again, I tried to eat something, somehow I was nervous as hell...... I wanted it to be over... I had so much pain. The pain was worse because the day before the chiropractor was really hard on me.. and the day after there is 'after-pain' on top of the normal pain because of the treatment..
anyway, the show started and it was so hard. I had to focus on my breathing, and that was horrible.. I couldnt breathe... when I inhaled it just couldnt go.... i couldnt breath in.... when the show was almost over; we were on stage to get applause I felt so dizzy... and when they run on stage again to get applause I couldnt... I collapsed... I couldnt breathe and started to hyperventilate and to panick.....
after a while I couldnt breathe again... but it was so painfull... after the show I didnt want to see anybody because the show felt really bad for me... I couldnt give all I had, even though I tried...
I just pickup up my parents and they took me home to my parents place.. my dad made an appointment with a friend a him, a manual therapiste.
this morning i went to her. she checked me and she found out I have a few tears in a few muscles in between my ribs... thats why its hurting like hell.. its one of the most painfull injuries, because its moving all the time... when youre inhaling exhaling etc etc... thats also a reason why it heals so slow... but she said Im young so maybe it will heal faster.. I hope so... would be nice to take a deep breathe....
anyway this is it for now, will write more later....
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